Oh my

Oh my oh my oh my. What am I doing? All I want to do is to eat what I want with no consequences. Darn it!! The universe is simply not working my way. Today is especially bad.

Normal breakfast
Snack--1/2 einsteins bagel with schmear---oops
Lunch--saucy meatballs w peas. Alas, we didn't have time to get the magic zero cal noodles
dessert--an apple spice cake doughnut
various small chocolates

Tonight--department dinner at Maddox--fabulous steak and raspberry rolls.

A couple big problems besides the obvious, is that I'm not really hungry. When I eat when I'm not hungry, thats when I gain weight.

Exercise is the number 2 problem. I re-injured my knee in kettlebell on tuesday. I took it easy on Wednesday and babied myself in kettlebell yesterday. I didn't feel as though it would be smart to walk to work today--part of the problem is that I've lost the sleeve for my knee. I'm going to have to replace that. I felt weird yesterday at kettlebell. I didn't WANT to work out, and it's true there were a lot of things that I shouldn't do, but should I have done more? It's so hard for me to tell if I have a genuine reason not to work out,because I'll seize onto lame excuses so fast.

Can I just do ordinary, simple things daily--as in eat in moderation--to conquer this problem? Alas, not without outside help it appears. I KNOW this. I just don't want to believe it. Amazing how stubborn the mind can be. Amazing, how delicious food is. I admit to some excitement beginning to flare up. This is typical of this point in the yo-yo cycle. Yes, there will be a few changes. Are they enough to enable me to stick to a plan? At least until my clothes fit again?  Only time will tell because apparently, I'm not in control at all here.

I AM thankful though for many things

Hilarious cereal--colon blow.
I FINISHED MY PAPER!!!!
Time for gift wrapping
Enough money for some gifts
Working cars