191 uptight

A normal day in a way. It's a beautiful wintry day so I put on my boots and walked to work. Food-wise all normal there too. I made some black bean soup for dinner. But the real thing that's going on is my family as always.  I've been trying to go down once a week to help Christine and visit Mom. I dread these trips but I don't always know why--well, yes I do. Although the actual interactions aren't bad, I dread that I might see or hear something that I just really don't want to see or hear. Tonight I'm hoping to get Christine off by herself (maybe take her out for ice-cream?) and do all I can to get her into a treatment program.  I hope against hope against hope that it goes well.  I dread if it doesn't. But I guess I'm trying so if things do go badly and someday I have to react by taking Riley away from her, I suppose I might feel a little less guilty--as if that matters.  On the upside--my family effectively kills my appetite.