Loopholes

50 years and I'm STILL looking for loopholes. Since Jackson Hole, I really haven't been making much of an effort. I think I'm feeling that so many "legitmate" exceptions keep me from losing weight, it's really hard to even try at all. I've been phoning it in and not even that very well. Saturday was vegetarian, yes, I did that, but didn't make much effort to control anything. Sunday was supposed to be 1600--but I was too lazy to count and yesterday was memorial day with a barbecue.

I feel stuck between a rock and a  hard place. If I really want to lose weight, I need to quit letting "exceptions" be more important than staying on track. For example, this week I have another local conference on Thursday and Friday. That means lunch and maybe snacks. I CAN make these "not counting but in control" days, if I REALLY mean it. Memorial Day COULD have been a counted day and I could have excercised extra to make up for the apple crisp I wanted. I want a big helping of pizza this Friday with cookies--and I'm lucky enough that I CAN have it.

What's the PROBLEM???? Fear for starters. I'm tired of trying with no results. I don't want to lose a little weight only to turn around and put it back on. BUT---losing a lot of weight starts with losing a little weight first. I can't change my habits without actually changing my habits. I need to stop worrying about failure--I'm still alive. I haven't failed yet. Even if I fail somewhat each and every day isn't it still worth the fight?  I think so.

Today is tomato day. I walked around for about an hour. The "walk" was really a very slow stroll as I practiced my presentation, but it's still worth 100 cal and I'm going to write that 100 cal down. I'm doing well. I'm glad tomorrow is not flavor point. I'm still feeling annoyed and discouraged, but I'm not quitting yet.