195 a 5K

Not counting today---I guess I'm still having a semi-tantrum about gaining weight. But I'm not going bananas---quite the opposite in fact.  It's just that I overslept and had to go clean the church. After that I wanted to see if my knee could tolerate a 5K walk.  YES!! But by the time I got back it was lunch time--I had a BLT, some olives, popchips (30 for 2 pts) and just a few cheese curds.  Now I'm taking a break from stats homework--I made myself some popcorn with olive oil (actually prefer it now to butter), and a little chocolate milk. Dinner will be tacos, I think I'll still be very much within points.  In the meantime there are a few thoughts simmering below the surface---simple thoughts---thoughts that everyone else seems to accept and take for granted. The idea that to lose weight I need to maintain a calorie deficit--the human body doesn't like deficits--if I'm in a deficit mode of course I'll feel unsatisfied sometimes---probably a lot of the time.  And here's the thought--it's ok.   I don't know if it's really ok in the face of a good brownie, but I'm beginning to want to regroup, make a real effort and see if I can't break 180 before Hawaii.  Do I really want to do this?