204 take it back

Okay, I take it back. 191 AGAIN. And I am a little discouraged. The very real part of me that wants to quit is SHREIKING "You haven't made any progress since JUNE!!!!".  Which is sort of true. I'm trying to remember what's also true---ahem---I've spent far more time down in the 180's than 190's in the last month. I can exercise again. Some things are becoming a little easier.  And so what if I have been sitting at 191 for months? Is that the worst thing? (YES!) No!!!!  I worked hard to get there--it's still a spectacuarly low weight for me--best in 20 years! And I've been maintaining it. OK. Deep breath. Keep fighting. This battle will take some time. It might take two or three years and that's ok because I'm changing my spirit along with my body.  I don't seem to be willing yet to compromise much with restaraunt food. I want what I want what I want.  This weekend I have the 1/2 marathon--which also means dining out the night before and right afer--then there is Lisa's Halloween party--I think I can be reasonable at the party. If nothing else I might not be willing to move from my chair to the table to get seconds. But I AM willing to fight between restaraunts. Maybe if I accept that I really love restaraunts.  I can begin to loosen my strangle hold grip on restaraunts---we do eat out a whole lot less than we used to thanks to the economy, but I really need to deal with going out and how to make better choices without feeling deprived.

Ummmmmmmm------coming up blank. I want to go to Olive Garden on Friday. I want the steak and gorgonzola, lots of breadsticks, salad and probably dessert. First off, this is perfectly ok to have. It's only not ok if I eat a massive lunch the next day and pig out at Lisa's party too.  I don't know what I'll feel like after the marathon or where we'll go--but I think I can maybe make ok choices if I feel good about Olive Garden first--I'll probably want protein and that's good. Plus, there's a good chance I might not be that hungry. Extreme exercise kills my appetite. There are such things as take out containers. I'll have Catherine remind me of that.