Thank goodness again for this blog. It helps even when I'm half-hearted about it. The marathon soreness is just beginning to wear off. I'm determined to do more--I can see why these things are addicting. The sense of accomplishment is terrific. Food-wise, I've been off track--the most off track I've been yet in this journey. But even that is good---I've been coming face to face with restaraunts lately and and find that not only do I come away defeated, but I don't even wish to fight!
But this I can work with and on. Thanks to the marathon I am still at 189 despite Olive Garden and Lisa's Halloween party. Okay. What am I so afraid of missing out on? Do I really think I'll never visit the Olive Garden again? Or can never buy another treat? When Dave goes to Boston before Thanksgiving, I am planning to go to the Cheesecake factory in SLC, because I'll be alone (therefore 1 meal is comparatively cheap), and because I didn't get to enjoy it very much in Denver. I want to order the buffalo bites again. This is good to think about--I went to the Cheesecake factory in Houston once and that was all for over 10 years. Restaurants close, or I move--there is no Old Chicago in Ogden. So there is a strong element of rarity--better enjoy it now because I can never get it again, an element of celebration, and also an element of diet-free relief---"I'm not going to worry about ww tonight---I can have what I want!" All of these feelings are powerful.
One thing that might help is exercising heavily in the morning--I'm not actually prepared to do this yet, but on Saturday, we went to Goodwood BBQ--and I didn't even care. I wasn't hungry, and I wasn't very hungry at Lisa's party either. I don't think I need to run 10 miles every morning, but I bet if I did I wouldn't want to eat as much as I do now. So, you'd think I made good decisions Saturday? NO. I ate less than I might have, but still way too much very high carb/calorie stuff. Why? Because psychologically I could. Saturday might have been a day when I could have used intuitive eating principles to my advantage and not eaten much because I didn't want much. I'd love to drop ww and go to intuitive eating all the way, but I know I'm not ready. It's still too hard to stop eating when the food is too good or the occasion demands it.
OK--today is Halloween---I'm exusing myself from exercise because honestly, just getting out of the chair is a major effort. We had a potluck at work and I thoroughly enjoyed the crakers and cheeseballs--my weakness, but I also ate a lot of veggies. I'm not planning on a huge pigout tonight. I'll have one or two reeses peanutbutter pumpkins (have already had a small one here) and call it good. Tomorrow I'll go back to counting properly and still keep working working working on this problem. I'm still ok--but I won't remain ok unless I take a firm grip on myself IMMEDIATLEY!!
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